A Trigun Christmas Carol
by iceangelmkx
Summary: AU.  Knives begins to learn the meaning of life when he is visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve.  A parody based on the famous story by Dickens.
1. Chapter 1: Bah Humberg!

**A/N: This is actually a rewrite from a script format I wrote back in 2003 and it was removed by the site for being in a script format a year later. Obviously, it was written for fun for the Holiday season (so yeah, complete randomness and a bit of OOCness, especially in the end). **

**Eight years later (don't ask why I waited so long), I've decided to shift this into a regular story format so that it can be posted here once more. Aside from the format, the only changes I've made were any grammar errors I managed to spot.**

**Enjoy, and Happy Holidays!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Bah Humberg!<strong>

Millions Knives, the evil leader of the Gung-Ho-Guns gang, was settling himself for dinner at the GHG headquarters. On the small table in front of him was a plate full of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, and a glass of red wine. He sat down on the wooden chair and took the wine glass in his hand.

"Ahh," Knives sighed with happiness. "The Gung-Ho-Guns are gone for the stupid Holidays. Now I can enjoy myself… alone, with no one around." He grinned at that. "I like the sound of that!"

He was just about to take a sip of his wine when the door suddenly bursted open. Knives looked up to see who dared decided to disturb his dinnertime. He was kind of surprised to see his twin brother, Vash the Stampede, pop right in. It didn't surprise him, however, to see that Vash was a Santa Claus outfit with a fake beard.

"What do you want?" Knives asked in annoyance.

"Hey there, Knives!" Vash cried out cheerfully. "Guess what day it is?"

Knives grumbled under his breath. In reply, Vash, cupped his hand over his ear towards his brother. "I can't hear you!"

Knives grumbled again. It was a little louder this time, but his brother was still persistent. "I still can't hear you!" Vash called out. "Come on, shout it out to the happy world!"

More annoyed than ever, Knives jumped out of his seat. "CHIRSTMAS EVE!" he bellowed. "Are you happy now?"

"… Nope!"

Knives was just about ready to blow a fuse, but instead, he merely took a deep breath and sat back down in his chair. "What more do you want then?"

"Well," Vash began as he grinned even more. "After all that's happened the last few years, especially when we found out that Wolfwood's still alive, Meryl figured that we all can get together tomorrow night for a Christmas party! It'll be a lot of fun with lots of cake, cookies and my personal favorite… DONUTS!"

"… That's nice," Knives said sarcastically. "…and you're point?"

"My point is… since you're always lonely and cranky, we thought it would be a great idea to, um, invite you over as well."

Knives threw his arms up as he shouted, "Bah Humberg! I hate Christmas and I hate the stupid human race! I wouldn't touch them with a 39 in a half foot pole! And I'm not lonely and cranky!

Vash's grin disappeared and a frown replaced it. "Oh, come on, Knives, don't be such a scrooge! And look at you! You're always mean to the Gung-Ho-Guns, so you're cranky. You're also sitting here eating dinner all by yourself! You're a lonely person. How did you become such a cranky person any ways?"

Now just pissed, mostly because he was sick of his brother's cackling, Knives quickly stood up from his chair, slamming the palm of his hands on the table. "That's enough! Get out of my sight before I call my crew in."

"Aren't they all dead?"

"My new recruit, Angel the Black Rose, has the ability to resurrect the dead. How did you think Nicholas D. Wolfwood came back to life?"

Vash pondered over this for a moment. "… oh yeah, I forgot. By the way, Knives, all the members of the Gung-Ho-Guns are going to the party too!"

"… Get out of here."

"Okay then." Vash only took a step back before he remembered something. "Oh yeah, tell Legato to come as well if he wants to."

Knives shook his head. "Unfortunately, we couldn't get Legato back from the dead. It seems as though he used his telekinetic powers against Black Rose so that she doesn't resurrect him. He probably enjoys being dead."

"Gee, that's too bad, he's going to miss out."

Knives growled. "YOU'RE the one who shot him!"

Vash was now nearly crying. "He forced me to!"

"Whatever."

"Oh, before I go, I want to sing a song!"

"Vash… no…"

But to Knives' dismay, Vash began to sing anyway. "_Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaay! Oh what fun it is to riiide in a one horse-_"

Knives slammed his fist on the table. "_**GET OUT!**_"

"…Fine, but you'll be sorry!" With that, Vash turned on his heel and left the dark lair.

After that fiasco, Knives took a deep breath before sitting back down again. "What's so great about Christmas? It's such an annoying Holiday. Everyone's just so happy, shopping for stupid gifts, and then they wait for some fat lard named Santa who doesn't even exist!"

Knives then took the wine glass in his hand. "Well, at least I'm here in this nice, peaceful, quiet place where I don't have to deal with any of that."

Just before he takes a sip of the wine, the empty chair in front of him suddenly moved back a few feet.

"Damn it!" Knives yelled out. "Can't I get drunk already?"

Then, to his surprise, Knives noticed a lightly visible person appearing right in front of him. Knives didn't have to look twice to see who it was because he soon recognized the figure as his former right hand man, Legato!

Knives dropped the glass of wine in shock, and he barely heard the shatter it made upon landing on the floor. "Legato!" he yelled as he up, ran behind his chair, and hid behind it, unsure of what to think.

Legato gave him an odd look. "Millions Knives, since when did you become such a chicken?"

Knives growled a bit as he realized what he was doing. He straightened himself up and brushed himself off as though nothing happened.

"I apologize, Legato," he replied. "You were the last person I expected to come here."

An amused look came over Legato's face. "Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I should be the last person you expect to come to you. Now, I came here for a reason and you must listen well."

Knives rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for this Legato."

"You and I both know that you have more time in the world in a day than a cow."

Knives grumbled as he sat down. "Fine, but make it quick."

Legato sat down in the chair opposite from Knives before beginning. "When you first recruited me into the Gung-Ho-Guns, I believed in your cause. The humans were nothing but savages. But after my demise, I realized something. The humans are not savages. Although they can be stubborn and selfish, there are kind people wanting good in life. This has also brought me to the conclusion you are indeed a very cranky, lonely person looking for someone to blame your pain on."

Knives clenched his fists at the last sentence. "You're starting to become like my brother! You're lucky to be dead already or else I would've killed you by now."

Legato nearly laughed. "You forget that I have telekinetic powers and that I can kill you without a single thought."

Knives stood up from his chair. "Oh yeah? Well… um… I can… um-"

"Pathetic! And you call yourself a leader! You can't even make a simple comeback after a comment like that."

"… Get out of here!"

Legato folded his arms. "That's your problem right there. You push people away when they are trying to help you. But I have a way to get some sense put into you."

Knives raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Legato explained. "Knives, it's time that you learn the true meaning of life. You will be visited by three ghosts, who will guide you and help you learn that. Farewell."

Then, in a quick flash, Legato vanished.

Knives laughed after a moment of silence. "Three ghosts? What a joke! I'm happy with the way things are for me right now. Learn the true meaning of life… HA! That's going to amuse me all night!"

Little did Knives realized was that he had a very long night ahead of him…


	2. Chapter 2: The Ghost of Christmas Past

**Chapter 2 – The Ghost of Christmas Past**

That night, Knives tucked himself into his king-size bed. The only thing glowing in his room was a single-lit candle, which was placed on his nightstand.

Knives found himself grumbling as he unfolded his blanket. "Three ghost are going to visit me…ha! Yeah right! Well, tomorrow is only going to mean one thing to me… more time to plan out my world domination. Soon, Gunsmoke will fall to my doom. Muahahahaha!" He then cleared his throat. "Well, good night!"

Knives blew out the candle and settled himself into his bed. It was not long after that he felt a gust of wind blowing into his room. He looked over and saw that one of his windows was opened. He grumbled to himself as he got himself up and shut the window. As he turned around, a bright, white light suddenly hit him.

Knives shielded himself with his forearms from the brightness. "What the…"

As soon as he was able to see more clearly a few seconds later, he looked over his arms… and his cold blue eyes met with a young woman with long black hair. She was someone Knives had not seen in many, many years.

"R… Rem?"

Rem, a woman had been a part of the earlier portion of his life, gave him a warm smile. "Hello Knives. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Knives pointed at her. "You… you're supposed to be dead!"

Rem nodded. "I am dead, Knives. It was all because of your selfishness and your desire for power that caused my demise. But even after that, I still forgive you…"

"What are you doing here anyways?"

Rem replied. "I am here because I am the first of the three ghosts who is to visit you tonight. You will now know me as the Ghost of Christmas Past."

"…That's nice. Now if you'll excuse me, I must get my beauty sleep."

Suddenly, all the windows in the room flew open.

"Damn it!" Knives yelled out.

Rem began to walk towards him. "Now Knives, you are coming with me…to a place where you haven't been since you were a child."

Knives shook his head. "I am not going anywhere!"

Rem quickly took Knives' hand. Before he could react, they suddenly went flying right out the window.

"What the… put me down! PUT ME DOWN!"

"Hush now."

For a while, they flew across town. As soon as they reached the end of it, they went straight up into the dark star-filled sky. They passed through a few light gray clouds. Then, to Knives' surprise, he spotted a large gray ship that spells out S.E.E.D.S on the side in bold black.

"… I thought they were all destroyed," Knives said.

"They are," Rem explained. "We just entered your past."

"… Oh."

They soon reached the ship and went right through it, much to Knives' dismay. They soon entered a room filled with many adults.

Knives realized who they were. "It's the crew…"

Rem nodded. "Yes."

Then, Knives spotted two young boys, both with long blond hair and wearing similar blue pants and blue shirts. They both had different colored eyes. One was an aqua, the other a light blue. The aqua-eyed boy seemed happy as he played with a ball. The other, however, seemed distant from him as he stared at his own ball.

Knives was aware the moment he saw the boys that they were both him and Vash as children. Still, he wasn't impressed. "Whatever. What's the point of this anyways?"

Rem answered. "What you're about to see are events that led up to what you have become today."

Knives was confused. "What do you mean?"

It was then that Knives heard laughter coming from a young girl. Knives turned his head and spotted a girl who looked to be about the same age as the boys. She had long wavy light brown hair and wore a long pink dress. Her chestnut brown eyes seemed to sparkle as she ran over to the boys.

Knives was astonished. He realized that he hadn't thought about this girl in a very long time. "R… Rai…"

Rem nodded. "You do remember her after all…secretly, you had a crush on her. She too was a plant, just like you and Vash."

Knives barely heard Rem as he watched the scene before him. He noted Rai coming up to the boys.

"Hi Vash, hi Knives!" Rai greeted cheerfully as she waved to them. "You guys want to go in the garden?"

Young Vash quickly stood up. "Sure Rai! Come on Knives, let's go!"

Young Knives shook his head. "I don't want to go…"

"Oh come on Knives," young Vash begged. "It'll be fun!"

"I said I don't want to go!"

Rai frowned a little. "All right Knives. But you'll miss out!"

Young Vash and Rai ran off and headed to the room where the optic garden was. It was then that a tall, muscular man with curly brown hair passed by Knives, a hand in one pocket, and another holding a bottle of whiskey.

The man looked down at Knives. "You're nothing but a monster…" he declared to him with a slur. "Remember that." He then walked off as though nothing happened.

As soon as the man turned his back, young Knives gave him a death-like glare.

Rem spoke once that was over. "Steve… you remember him of course… he was the one who made you believe that all humans were savages, just like he was."

"…This is nothing but a waste of my time," Knives growled. "If you don't mind, I would like to return to my sleeping quarters."

"Not yet," Rem replied. "We're not finished yet."

A sudden quick flash hit Knives. He soon found himself in a much darker room. He watched as his young self and Rai ran into the room, looking as though they were frantic to hide somewhere. They finally found a spot behind a bunch of boxes and go behind there.

"Knives, I'm scared," Rai whispered, her voice shaking. "Steve is even more drunk than ever. I hope Vash is okay too."

"Don't worry Rai, I won't let him hurt you," you Knives promised.

For a long time, the two held each other in silence. Then, they heard the door open with force before it slammed into the wall. They could hear the slow, thumping footsteps getting closer and closer to where they hid.

"Where are you little monsters?" Steve's voice was heard, sound even more slurred than young Knives remember. "You are all nothing but a burden on this ship…"

A few seconds later, the boxes were quickly knocked over. Rai screamed in fear as she is pulled away from Knives by the neck.

Young Knives looked up at the scene with horror. "No!" he begged. "Leave her alone!"

"_AHHH!"_ Rai screamed.

Steve looked at Rai as he began to shake her violently. "You think you monsters can get away from me? I don't think so!"

Suddenly, a loud crack was heard. When Rai's eyes rolled to the back of her head and slumped over in Steve's hand, Young Knives realized what just happened. Steve had broken her neck… and now she was dead. Steve's facial expression was that of both shock and horror as he came to the realization that he had killed her in his own hands. He dropped her to the ground and she fell like a rag doll. He then took a couple of steps back, practically sobering up at that point.

"No…I, I can't believe what I just did…" Steve uttered.

"_**ARGH!**_" young Knives screamed as he charged after Steve with rage. Steve quickly saw this and stepped out of the way, sending Young Knives crashing into more boxes in the room.

Steve then went over to pick up Rai's limp body. He spoke to young Knives as he did. "Listen here you monster, if any of the crew hear about this, or that little idiotic brother of yours, you'll end up just like her. Is that clear?"

Young Knives could only glare at Steve as he threw the dead girl over his shoulder and quietly walked out of the room. Once along, Young Knives crawled into a corner, curled into a ball, then quietly sobbed.

The now-grownup Knives watched all of this in silence. It was hard to tell, but there was a hint of grim in his face.

"It was the last time you ever cried," Rem spoke. "Steve covered up the murder by telling the others that Rai had quickly decided that she had wanted to join the other sleepers so that there would be more young people in our new land. As the following days went by, rage began to consume you. Rai's death has given you 'proof' that humans were nothing but savages. It was not long after her demise that you performed your selfish deed…"

More flashes appeared in front of Knives… images of when he had slaughtered all the crew on the ship. He and Vash had escaped on a smaller ship. Rem had risked her life to find another crew member, who, unknown to her, was already killed.

"Since that day," Rem continued. "All you desired was world domination. Life meant nothing to you anymore…"

Knives turned to her as anger took over him once more. "That's enough! I've listened to you long enough! Now take me back to my quarters!"

Rem frowned as she nodded. "Very well, Knives. My duty to try to help you is complete. I may have not opened your eyes to the true meaning of life… but I am sure the other two will…"

"Ha!" Knives sneered. "I'd like to see them try!"

Then a white light once again flashed before his eyes…


	3. Chapter 3:The Ghost of Christmas Present

**Chapter 3 – The Ghost of Christmas Present**

Knives shot up from his bed and panted heavily as a bead of sweat poured down his face. He looked around and soon realized that he was back in his room.

Knives sighed with relief. "Good, it was only a dream." He then found himself laughing again. "Three ghosts, ha! What a joke! … Well, good night!"

Knives laid back down on his bed and closed his eyes. A few seconds later, he opened his eyes…and suddenly found himself looking at a young boy's face!

"AH!" Knives screamed out as he jumped back.

The young boy rolled his eyes. "Oh jeez, don't tell me you're afraid of a little kid?"

Knives looked over at him again… and recognized the figure.

"Zazie? What are you doing here?" Knives asked.

"Actually, I'm not Zazie, I'm just in disguise," the boy replied. "Oh, you don't know yet. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present. But in short, you can call me Zaz."

Knives was a bit confused, but decided to move on from it. "Eh, okay…what do you want from me?"

"Just like what the Ghost of Christmas Past did," Zaz replied. "Only I'm going to show you what's going on right now!"

"No way!" Knives said. "I'm not going anywhere with you!"

"Too bad!"

Zaz then quickly took his hand. No sooner did he do that, they were then flying out the window.

Knives began to freak out. "_**NOT AGAAAAAIIIIIN!**_"

"Just be quiet!" Zaz demanded.

They flew around the city of December until they reach a saloon. They landed in front of it, eventually hearing the chatter from within the small building.

"Seems like the boys, and Dominique, are here tonight," Zaz mentioned. "Let's see what kind of shenanigans they're up to."

They looked through the window, where Knives' Gung Ho Gun gang were having drinks.

"Finally!" called out Rai-Dei the Blade. "We have time to ourselves and not get bossed by the master!"

"Cheers to that!" agreed Lenorf the Puppet-master.

Everyone cheered as they clinked their glasses of beer together.

"What is up with Knives anyways?" asked the real Zazie the Beast.

"Yeah," quipped E.G. the Mine. "He's been quite annoying lately."

"I gotta agree with you for once," added Gray the Ninelives.

Caine the Longshot found himself shocked suddenly as he looked at Gray. "Oh my God, you actually talked!"

It was now Hoppered the Gauntlet's turn to be shocked. "Same with you!"

Midvalley the Hornfreak took a sip of his drink before speaking. "Let us not worry about that Knives and enjoy ourselves this evening. After all, it is Christmas."

"Yeah!" cried out Dominique the Cyclops. "Who needs him? Legato was the TRUE leader of the Gung-Ho-Guns!"

Chapel the Evergreen nodded. "Knives never paid us enough."

"YEAH!" everyone yelled out.

Knives felt himself get more anger the more he watched the scene. "You idiots! Who was the one who brought you here when you were all lost and alone in the world because of your inhuman powers?"

No one replied to him.

"Answer me!" Knives demanded.

Zaz wagged a finger at him. "No Knives. They cannot see you, nor can't they hear you. You're nothing but an invisible force right now."

Knives shook his head in frustration. "Exactly what is the point of all this?"

"This was to show you what you're gang really thinks about you. Now, we have two more places to go to."

Zaz took Knives' hand again and they flew through December until they reach a small house.

Knives growled as he recognized the house. "Why are we at my brother's house?"

Zaz smiled. "Something amazing is about to happen to him. This would be because after all these years, unlike you, he has chosen the right path."

They walked towards the front window and saw Vash sitting with his wife Meryl Stryfe on the couch in front of the lit fireplace. The two of them listened to the couple carefully.

"This has been such a wonderful evening Meryl," Vash said happily. "I couldn't imagine anything better than this."

"Me either Vash," said Meryl. "Who knew this would all turn out like this. Never in my wildest dreams would I be sitting here with you tonight."

"Isn't life funny sometimes?"

Meryl only smiled and nodded in reply.

"Meryl, I love you so much."

Meryl smiled more. "Oh Vash, I love you so much too."

They share a brief kiss, which made Knives nearly want to gag, before Meryl pulled away.

"Vash," she continued. "I have an early Christmas present for you."

Vash was surprised to hear this, especially since Meryl was usually strict about opening presents early. "Really?"

Meryl nodded as her eyes seemed to glow. "Yes. Um, the other day I went to the doctor, and… Vash… we're going to have a baby."

Vash's jaw nearly dropped as the surprise. "M… Meryl…"

The two embraced in silence, both filled with happiness that was shown in both of their eyes.

Zaz was nearly crying at the sight. "Awwww how cute, Knives is going to be a monkey's uncle!"

Knives whirled his head around. "Shut up. Again, what was the point of this? This is all a waste of my time!"

Zaz sighed. "You'll never learn…except, there is one more place to go to…"

"Then will you leave me be?"

"… Fine," Zaz promised.

The specter once again took Knives' hand and they go across December. They go about 300 iles out of town before landing upon a lone building.

"Recognize this place?" Zaz asked.

Knives rolled his eyes. "Of course. This is Nicholas D. Wolfwood's church. Why are we here of all places?"

"Well…you know how your little gang had said that they don't get paid enough. Well, it's not too much of a matter for them… but it's a BIG matter to Nicholas D. Wolfwood. And you, my friend, are about to find out why."

They go up to the window of what looked like a kitchen. They see about twenty children waiting for dinner to be served at the long table. Then, they see Wolfwood and his wife Milly by the stove.

"Okay everyone!" Wolfwood announced. "Dinner's ready!"

Milly turned around holding a bowl in each hand.

Knives was shocked to see what was in the bowls. "Peas and potatoes? That's dinner?"

Zaz glared at him. "If only YOU had given Wolfwood enough money for him to buy a big ham, cranberries, stuffing, and all that good stuff. But nope, they are only getting salads and potatoes this Christmas Eve."

As Milly served the food to the children, Knives noticed the littlest child of them all. He sat quietly at his seat as he waited for his food. Next to him was a pair of crutches.

Zaz had noted this. "Ah, I see that you are noticing Little Liam. You know, Wolfwood loves these kids, but Liam is his favorite of them all. As for the crutches, he has polio. It's simple; get a vaccine for it, right? But unfortunately, there is not enough money to give Little Liam the cure. Who knows…this may be his very last Christmas…"

For the first time in the many years Knives had lived, he started to feel a little care towards a human child like Little Liam. There was something about Little Liam that made Knives feel this way. Perhaps the little boy reminded him of himself when he was that young, well, that young-looking.

The little orphans ate their food and finished up quickly. Once they were finished, they helped to put the dishes in the sink. Milly kept her smile as they did this. Then, she went over to Little Liam.

"Here Liam," Milly said cheerfully. "I'll take your dish. You can go back to playing with the other children."

"Okay Miss Milly," Little Liam said. He then got into his crutches and slowly made his way out of the kitchen. As soon as he was out, Milly went over to the sink to put his dish away. Wolfwood waited for her there.

Wolfwood shook his head sadly as he spoke. "This is awful… I wish I could've given these children a better Christmas, especially for Little Liam."

Milly frowned. "Dear, we tried the best we can with all we had."

"I know," Wolfwood continued. "But…you and I both know that it could've been better. We're lucky that each child is getting at least one gift this year. But we could've done more… we could've put up a Christmas tree… some decorations… a bigger dinner… but this is all I can afford…"

Wolfwood sighed. "And afterwards, I wonder… I wonder if I'll be able to get enough money to give Liam the cure to his polio. It all makes me wonder… is this his last Christmas?"

Milly shook her head. "Dear, don't think about that…"

They both wrapped their arms around each other and held one another close in silence. All that could be heard were the winds and the laughter of the children playing.

Knives shook his head and growled. "I've had enough! Take me back!"

When Knives turned around… Zaz was nowhere to be seen!


	4. Chapter 4: The Ghost of Christmas Future

**Chapter 4 – The Ghost of Christmas Future**

Knives shook his head and growled. "I've had enough! Take me back!"

When Knives turned around… Zaz was nowhere to be seen!

"Zaz?" Knives called out as he searched around frantically. "Where did you go?"

Knives looked around more, but it was then that he realized that he was no longer by the church. Instead, he was at a cemetery.

"What the…how did I get here so fast?" Knives called out.

He turned around again, and then was suddenly face to face with a black-hooded figure with glowing red eyes. The figure stared at Knives intently, making him nervous.

Knives gulped. "Um, I, I'm assuming you are The Ghost of Christmas Future, am I correct?"

The figure only nodded.

Knives realized that the specter wasn't going to talk. "…So, eh, what is it that you want to show me?"

The Ghost of Christmas Future waved his hand as he turned around. He began walking down the cemetery. Knives followed, not having much of a choice. It was a few minutes later that the figure finally stopped before turning back around to face Knives.

Knives sighed. "… I ask once more… what is the point of this?"

The figure slightly turned, then pointed a long finger diagonally back behind him. Knives followed his eyes where the ghost was pointing.

He soon laid his eyes on a group of people by a small grave. Knives realized that there were two adults and the rest were children. Knives squinted his eyes and took a few steps forward to get a closer look. He soon recognized the two adults; Wolfwood and Milly. Knives then looked at the children… and then realized that Little Liam was not there.

"This is… Little Liam's funeral…" Knives guessed quietly.

The dark figure only nodded.

Knives kept watching as the children slowly walked away from the small grave with sadness and tears. Wolfwood and Milly stood there for a few more moments, both of their faces stained with tears. Milly took Wolfwood's hand and they both soon followed the children.

For the first time in years, Knives began to feel sorrow. '_Why do I care so much… but… is it really all my doing…?'_

It was then that he heard the sounds of shovels digging into dirt not too far. Knives turned his head and spots two gravediggers putting down their shovels.

"Man, this guy must've been a big loner," the first digger guessed. "No one came to his funeral, not even the priest."

"Yeah," the second digger answered. "He must've been a big jerk to those who knew him."

The first digger shrugged. "Oh well, shame on him. Let's take a lunch break."

The two gravediggers leave the sight. Knives walked over to the dark, lonely grave more or so out of curiosity. The Ghost of Christmas Future followed and stood next to the other side of the dark tomb. Knives looked down at the coffin below.

"Out of curiosity," Knives spoke. "Who is this 'loner?'"

The Ghost of Christmas Future let out a small, dry laugh.

Knives noticed this and was feeling offended. "What's so funny?"

The Ghost of Christmas Future lit up a lighter and brought it over to the tombstone. Knives read what was on the stone… and suddenly was overcome with fear;

_Here Lies, Millions Knives._

"M… me?" Knives stuttered.

Suddenly, The Ghost of Christmas Future took off his hood revealing…

"_Legato?"_

Legato laughed. "Ha ha ha, of course Millions Knives."

Knives was confused by something. "But, but you said there would be three ghosts."

Legato sighed. "I know, except I couldn't find someone to take the 'Future' role before Zaz was finished, so I took over."

"Oh."

Legato's eyes suddenly glowed red as he raised his hands up. "Yes, this is you!" he spoke in a demonic voice. "Your future is to die alone! It is because of your hatred towards humans. Your foul nature has made you the man, no, _monster_ you are today! You greed over money, and care for no one. If only you could've been more like Vash the Stampede!"

Knives covered his ears with his hands as he shook his head in denial. "No! NO!"

Legato sneered. "Yes! YES! Your fate is to suffer for _ALL_ eternity in the pits of the Underworld!"

"No! Please!" Knives begged fearfully. "Give me another chance! I'll change! Please!"

Legato laughed maniacally. "It's too late Knives! Go now! They wait for you!"

Suddenly, the coffin in the grave opened up. The gates to the Underworld appeared before with the demons awaiting Knives' arrival. Legato then pushed Knives with his telekinetic powers. As Knives fell, he managed to grab hold of a lingering branch.

Knives begged more as he tried to pull himself up. "Please! Give me another chance! I've learned my lesson!"

Legato shook his head as he grinned sadistically. "I've said it before and I'll say it again! IT'S TOO LATE! Muahahahahahaha!"

Knives then lost grip on the branch and began to fall towards the creatures below.

"I'll change! _**I'LL CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!**_"


	5. Chapter 5: Merry Christmas!

**Chapter 5 – Merry Christmas!**

**Alternate Title – What happens when Knives is OOC.**

In his bed, Knives tossed and turned in his sleep. "No… please… I'll change… please… give me another chance…"

Suddenly, Knives sat up quickly from his bed while clutching on to his blanket. "AAAHHHH!" he screamed before he found himself gasping for breath. As he did, Knives found himself looking at his surroundings… and then realized that he was back in his room.

"It…it was only a dream…" Knives whispered. Then, for the first time in years, as he thought about the dream he had, he smiled. "It was only a dream. I'm given another chance. What's today's date?"

He looks at his calendar. "Ah yes, I thought so!" Knives quickly jumped out of bed. "It's Christmas Day! The best time of year!"

Knives ran over to his window. He opened up both the curtains and the window itself rapidly before leaning over the sill.

"_**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**_" Knives screamed out for everyone to hear.

However, the townspeople who were walking about only replied with silence as they stared up at him with odd looks on their face. One sound did come a moment later… a lone person coughing a little.

Knives shrugged as he leaned back from the window. "Okay, maybe that approach was a bit rushed. I need something better." As he turned around, he happened to notice two large bags of money on the floor. "Aha! Here we go!"

Knives grabbed the bag, put on his slippers and Vash's Christmas hat (which he left at the house yesterday), then ran out the door. Once on the streets, he starts tossing the money to everyone he passed by.

"Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! And Happy, eh, whatever else I missed!"

As he tossed the money, everyone looked at him in a strange way, wondering if he finally snapped more than usual.

Then, Knives stopped at the saloon where his knew Gung-Ho-Gun gang were at this time. Knives then threw one of the bags on the table.

"Merry Christmas!" Knives cried out.

The all the eyes of the Gung-Ho-Guns' members became wide at saucers. It wasn't even about the large amount of money in front of them… they were more unsure of why their boss had gone bonkers, especially on his least favorite day of the year.

Zazie The Beast was the first to speak after some silence. "Eh… you didn't use some of Hopperd's mushrooms again, did you?"

"Nope not this time!" Knives replied. "Just came by to drop off your presents! Merry Christmas!" He then turned on his heel and left the saloon.

Rai Dei rubbed his chin as he stared at the bag. "Hey! Isn't this all the money he owed us after all these years?"

They looked at each other for a brief moment. Then, at the same time, they all dived into the table and began to fight each other for the money.

After that was done, Knives stopped at a toy store and bought many toys. Then, he walked 300 iles to December to Wolfwood's church and orphanage. Knives then went to the door and knocked. A minute later, Wolfwood answered it.

Wolfwood sighed at the sight of him. "What is it Knives?"

Knives gave him a serious look. "I have come for your dues."

Wolfwood shook his head. "Knives…can't it wait until tomorrow? It's Christmas."

"Exactly!" Knives cried out cheerfully as he jumped into the house.

Seeing this was starting to freak Wolfwood out. "What the-"

Milly happened to come by and saw who came. "Yay! Look children! Mr. Knives is here!"

The children ran over to Knives and, upon seeing them, they became curious of the large bag he carried with him.

"Hey kids!" Knives said to them. "Wondering what's in the bag right? Take a look!"

The kids looked in the bag. Inside they saw many different kinds of toys. The children immediately became delighted as they never saw so many toys in their lives. Knives took the toys and gave them to each child. Then, Knives looked at Little Liam, who was in the back of the group.

Knives walked over to the boy. "I got you something special," he said as he pulled out a new toy.

Little Liam became astonished as he was given a large, white teddy bear. "Th, thank you sir!"

"Not a problem."

Wolfwood had to agree. "Yes Knives. I don't know how to repay you."

"Yeah…oh yeah, I almost forgot!" Knives then took out a check and gave it to the priest. "This is for the cure for Little Liam."

It was Wolfwood's turned to be astonished. "I… th, thank you Knives. Merry Christmas."

Knives nodded. "Merry Christmas! Now I'm off to my brother's!" He then turned on his heel and left.

Milly had to smile. "Boy, he seems very jolly!"

Wolfwood stared at the check as he nodded. "Yeah…"

A while later, Knives returned to December. Once in town, he was gasping for air. "Damn! He lives so far out of town!"

Then, Knives headed over to Vash's house and knocked on the door. A minute later, Vash answered it.

"Knives?" Vash called out in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Knives grinned at him. "What's wrong? Can't a good brother come by and say Merry Christmas?"

Vash cocked his head to the side a little. "Um, sure, that's fine. Come on in."

Knives walked into the house as Meryl came by the door.

"Um, hello Knives," Meryl managed to say, surprised to see him as well.

"Hello to the miss!" Knives said cheerfully. "Merry Christmas!"

Meryl found herself a little nervous, unsure of what to think of her brother-in-law at the moment. "Eh, Merry Christmas to you too, Knives."

Knives patted his brother's shoulder. "Now, I know! I'm gonna be a monkey's uncle!"

Vash looked at him in shock. "How did you know we were-"

"Never mind that! What matters more is the party for tonight! I'm coming and I'm making the sugar cookies!"

"Sweet!"

Meryl smiled. "That's very kind of you Knives."

Knives nodded. "Yup. I'm also going to bring the… donuts!"

Vash raised his arms in what seemed like triumph. "YEAH!"

Meryl placed her hands over her ears, not believe what she just heard. "NO! NOT TWO OF YOU NOW!"

_Has Knives really learned the meaning of life or will he go back to his old self the next day? Perhaps that is something we will never know…._

**The End**

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><p><strong>AN: Happy Holidays everyone and have a great New Year!**


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